Why are they called yoga pants anyways?
Who actually does yoga in the pants?
I keep sitting down to write these posts and such deep, emotional things come to my mind. Maybe it is my escape or maybe as 2 people this past week have told me, I am mature and sound like an.... ADULT. Yikes.
I always plan stuff out in my head on how I expect it to go, setting expectations pretty high most of the time. Example; mothers day. I imagine being woken up about 10 am with a nice knock on the door with a tray of breakfast and flowers which I enjoy as I continue to lay in bed. After breakfast, we go to the park, enjoy a nice walk and play on the playground. Then have a nice picnic with my family. Come home, take a nap before or after I get a massage, whichever is first, I am not picky. Maybe watch a movie cuddled up on the couch with my boys. Eat a nice home cooked meal prepared by someone else and not clean up a single dish. Enjoy some tv before going to bed at 8pm. I mean, that isn't setting my expectations too high, right? Wrong. A lot of things have changed since having #2. I am starting to become more easy going. (I said starting too... I am now like 1% easy going where I was 0%.. baby steps people) So yeah, the whole mothers day thing was nothing like planned. Except we did go to the park, went on a walk, threw rocks and played on the playground. We even had a picnic. Actually it was more like two picnics because Cameron was screaming so bad that Kordell ate first with Landon while I held Cameron. Then, Kordell took the screaming child and I ate. Then we couldn't get Cameron to quite down so we had to leave early and fast so he didn't disturb all of the other park goers and their mothers day picnics. We won't even talk about a certain 3 year olds attitude. Since Kordell had a baseball game (On mothers day? Yes, I know..) I did end up having dinner prepared by someone else. General Mills. Oh, and I did get a massage...certificate. I did get another unforgettable gift. A tick...in my pants. Who wanted to go to the park anyways?? As I laid down for bed that night, I couldn't help but smile.
We went over 3 years without using a band aid on Landon (except for shots at the dr) and have now gone through an entire box in a matter of weeks. If this is any indication of what summer will be like, we are in trouble. It all started the first day swimming at my parents new pool. "Don't run Landon." "Walk Landon." "Landon, slow down." And just like that, he acted as if he broke his leg. He couldn't walk for several minutes and then when he figured out his leg was still there, he limped. He was hyperventilating from crying so hard. Brace yourself; it's ugly.
I know, right? I really did have sympathy for him after it happened, it's always sad seeing your little one get hurt and cry. BUT, this happened about a month ago. He has not sat down in the bath tub since because he thinks it is going to hurt. He wouldn't let us take his band aid off for several days which caused him to have a rash. When we did get the band aid off, it was a two person job. I am sure if you live within a 5 mile radius, you heard. Any person we see, he tells them about his leg. He comes home from the babysitter every day and tells us his leg doesn't hurt, as if he is shocked. Every night at dinner when we pray, we have to pray for his leg. I guess there is something about that first injury you cannot forget. Not even a week later, he had another accident. This time a folding table fell on him and this is what happened...
Luckily this injury did not leave a lasting mark on his psychiatric well being like the leg. Knock on wood we haven't had any other "serious" boo boo's since then. We are going to have to start our prayers about an hour before dinner!
I am 7 (work days) away from trading in my cozy pants and t-shirts for my dress pants and heels. I recently read an article where the working mom wrote a letter to the stay at home mom and the stay at home mom wrote a letter to the working mom. I think I should do this for myself; write a letter to myself in both roles. No, I am not an expert "stay at home mom" (sahm as they call it) but after these past 12 weeks, I have a pretty good understanding. On those days when I am asking myself "is this what I really want?" I can turn to the letters and remember, both roles have their pros and both have their cons.
But which one has the most pros?
I'll consider this my SAHM letter...
I have such respect for people who stay home with their child(ren) or anyone else's child(ren) for that matter. You have all seen those funny youtube videos of the stay at home mom rapping about throw up in her hair, cheerios all over the floor, haven't showered for days, still in her PJ's, etc. It's all true. Every single thing. I thought it would be fun staying at home but little did I know our little guy would have serious reflux. Maybe that has a lot to do with how I feel about staying home verses working. I leave the house once a day, unless it rains, to go on a walk because it calms him down. 90% of the time it is successful, the other times people stare at me like "do you hear your child screaming?" Yep I do, I can only run so fast. I attempted to take him to a few stores with me; we have had to leave multiple times before I was finished. One time I was half way done grocery shopping and had to ditch my cart; it was still there when I returned childless an hour later. Phew. No, it's not like this for everyone but for me, stay at home mom means stay at home. As strange as it sounds, sitting here all day with a fussy reflux baby who constantly needs held, is exhausting. After a while you can start making songs up with the sound of the cries. People at work always say I am good at blocking things out, you could say I have had some practice. I always thought sahm's had the luxury of taking naps. Ha! That worked for about the first week, probably because I was beyond exhausted. IF I am able to put him down for a nap, I'll use that time to eat or possibly shower. You know it's a good day if you get to do both! It is just different being home all day versus working all day. Your to-do list, goals and projects are completely different. As a sahm, my biggest accomplishment for the day (other thank showering) is getting him to smile in a picture. If that doesn't work, any cute pose will do.
I make staying at home sound bad, but it really isn't. There are good days too. And those days, I never want to end. I love watching Cameron grow day by day. He does the weird baby movements like he's dancing and jumps at any loud noise. I love his dimples. I love his coo'ing and his smiles. I love the smile on his face when Landon talks to him. I love his pouty lower lip. I love watching him stare at things, trying to soak in the word around him. I will miss these things when I go back to work more than anything. It is hard to face the fact that I will most likely miss the first time he rolls over, first time he sits up, crawls and walks.
It's even harder knowing it will be the last first's that I will miss.
These next few days will consist of nothing less than cuddle time and play time with my littlest man. I will enjoy every minute I have left before I retire my stay at home mom hat and turn back into the working mom.
This song has nothing to do with my post but since my keyboard is now wet, I need a song to make me happy. Happy Friday.
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